


Biscuits

by Stariceling



Category: Big Wolf on Campus
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short all-dialogue scene in the aftermath to the episode "The Wolf is Out There."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Biscuits

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a dialogue exercise. Both of their 'voices' are really fun to work with.
> 
> Takes place after the episode "The Wolf is Out There." Some cleaning up, after Merton took on the mob.

“You could be strapped down in a government lab right now, you know. Did you really want to get yourself dissected? Eviscerated? With the ‘men in black’ peering into you open chest cah-ah-ah, Tommy that stings!”

“Then quit squirming around! How did you get this anyway?”

“Old lady caught me there with her hand bag. Chi-ow. Ow, Tommy. I think she had a brick in it or something.”

“Huh. You know, I can’t believe you want to the Hungry Bucket without me.”

“You can’t believe. . . ? That’s my line, Tommy! You knew there was a whole mob out there after you and you still take off the minute I turn my back!”

“So that’s when you decided to go get a snack? I can smell their chicken nuggets on you!”

“I was looking for you! I didn’t just go to- Tommy, quit sniffing my hands!”

“Sorry. I’m just hungry.”

“How can you still be hungry? And quit that. I told you I don’t have any chicken for you.”

“Hey! I wasn’t cruising for a snack. Stacy was in trouble. What was I supposed to do?”

“. . . I’m not even going to ask how you knew, but okay. I can understand that. Even though you were completely careless. Plus you owe me a new rack.”

“I do not owe you a new rack. I never asked you to tie me up.”

“You asked me to hide you. How else was I supposed to keep an eye on you? I can’t exactly stop you if you try to run off. Well, not that the rack stopped you either, but it was sound in principle!”

“Well it’s still creepy.”

“Hey, I dove into an angry mob for you!”

“Okay. Okay! Thank you!”

“I saved your furry butt!”

“I said thank you! I am not getting you a new rack, Merton!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“. . .”

“Can you give me back my icepack now?”

“Yeah. You sure you’re okay?”

“Fine. I’m used to it.”

“Merton-”

“I’m perfectly fine. Thanks.”

“Are you-”

“I am not getting you anything to eat now, so you can quit making those puppy eyes at me.”

“It’s not that. What’s that smell?”

“Get your head out of my jacket.”

“Did you bring me cookies?”

“Oh yeah, forgot about those. I got you some milk bones.”

“Ugh.”

“They got kind of crushed, but they should still taste good.”

“What do you mean ‘still taste good.’ I’m not eating those!”

“Oh come on. After I got them specially for you?”

“You really expect me to buy that?”

“Look, Tommy, they’re not that bad. . . Actually, these are pretty good.”

“Merton. . .”

“Hm. They clean your teeth too.”

“I can’t believe you would eat those.”

“Well, think of it this way. They’re dog biscuits, and since ‘biscuit’ is just another word for ‘cookie,’ they’re effectively cookies for man’s best friend. That’s a nice thought, right? Besides, that’s what you thought they were at first anyway.”

“One problem, Merton. I’m not your pet dog.”

“No, but you are my best friend. . .”

“. . .”

“Tommy. . .”

“Just give me the milk bones.”


End file.
